Nobody Cares About Your Blog

Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipe

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:16:50 -0600

It's all the rage these days, I thought I'd give it a go. It may look like a stock photo, but that's actually my own hand.

Elsewhere: TWoP Bayliss

Thu, 31 Jan 2008 15:15:20 -0700

It's that time of the month again, when TWoP's Jacob comes flying into the AI forum hell bent on parading his mod status by lecturing and berating posters over at TWoP. Jacob, aka TWoP Bayliss, has rechristened himself so that he can double the asshole behavior without having to double the effort... that's just lazy if you ask me. Here's the current edict:

So, to review. The topic of this thread is the episode that took place on Wednesday. The topic is not:

How we all should define the word "American." That leads nowhere good, you've already been asked to knock it off, and it's gross. It's gross behavior, it's a tacky conversation, and there's no response that's also on-topic, so drop it.

The etymology of the words "ethnicity," "race," or "nationality," the linguistic hairsplitting that obtains thereabouts, and why our fellow posters are thus terrible people.

Single Mothers: fact or fiction? (Related: Where Fantasia's babies come from.)

How many different words for "whore" can we think of? ...How about for a teenage girl?

It's not "snark," it's just gross. It's not smart, not funny, not interesting, and it's not your best. Please conduct yourselves like adults and remember the topic at hand. Unless you happened to spot a single mother giving birth to a half-Lebanese baby while signing her US citizenship papers last night on the show, the consequences of breaking the FAQ rules just got a lot more intensive.

Magic word for today? *** gross ***. Picking your underwear out from ass-wedge? Gross. Eating a pizza dropped on a used baby diaper? Gross. Discussing what the word "American" means? Ew... fucking gross... so stop it!

More random act of Jacobian madness can be found in the tales of woe in the TWoP thread in the RoyalMisfits forum. If you're new to the forum, ask the locals for directions.

New Orleans, French Quarter, Statue

Fri, 6 Jul 2007 08:57:23 -0600

The Cooler Buzz: I Read the Forums to Keep You Up To Date!

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 14:35:50 -0600

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The Hamptons? The Caymans? Baja? Where are the trendiest Misfits summering this season? My dears, there is only one place to be if you are a true Royal�. Rehab! Oh, yes. The constant news and excitement being generated on the board has led to a break down in our delicate systems requiring we be admitted under the graceful diagnosis of �Nervous Exhaustion.� Of course, for the true Misfit, just any Rehab facility simply will not do. We�ve admitted ourselves into the finest virtual dollars can buy - The Dinah Lohan Center for Recovery From Enforced Self-Denial. At the Center, we are expected to give up NOTHING. But, Dinah will hang out with us as we party, enjoy the unlimited use of the spas and hot tubs, the on-call masseuse, the free breast enhancements, the designer clothing sans unmentionables, and the dance �till dawn discoth�que. Her method is quite simple. She follows us around, �keeping an eye on us� seeing to it that we do not allow public opinion to dictate that we �reign it in!� The program has earned kudos in all the right social circles!

Of course, how can one fully enjoy a rehab experience if one doesn�t escape now and then to take in an Elliott concert or two? Cunning misfits climbed down the vine-covered trellises outside their suites to catch up with our favorite music man as he toured the country. Apparently, as we speak, eo is in the process of hitchhiking from The Center to the San Diego House of Blues, where Elliott will perform with his band this evening. Hopefully, the paparazzi won�t get word! But, if they do, pictures and full report will be expected on the Tours Forum on the main board in the morning! Kelliott stole away to San Francisco earlier in the week where she not only got to see, but got to MEET her favorite Idol! Those who wish to live vicariously through our Kel simply MUST check out her recap in the Elliott thread. Other Misfits who have seen the Elliott Show so far include: Li�l Red Devil Liz, Murghi, Cabarethed, Captured Castle, CookieMomster (whose lovely nieces also enjoyed the show!), Janizzle, jersey_girl and nittanynut just to name a very small few. Do check out the Tour thread as it is filled with pictures and video clips of The Man in action!

Naturally, the �juice� bar in the Elliott Thread on the General Music Forum is the perfect place to rehabilitate one�s thirst. Particularly since Incidior brought along enough hooch to give the juice just the right bit of a medicinal bite to cure all that ails any Misfit. The randy crowd, while discussing Elliott�s hit �Wait For You� and its continual rise on the charts, was thrilled to raise a glass in a toast to the newest poster, nemutai_girl, heretofore to be known as either �ng� or Leeann. She, Kelliott, and Memberofthetribe had boisterous stories to share about the San Fran concert. Bluebomb, Alab, and Poorme discussed Elliott�s new arrival at the Top 10 spot on the pop charts over Mai Tais, while Murghi, Wefi, Sleeper, and anothermom4e debated the Elliott Weiner competition over boilermakers. Overheard speculating on the presence of a ring on Elliott�s necklace were Ooshe, Delia88, and Zapped as they downed margaritas (sans salt). Laura Petrie, Elizabeth, and Blue Vernon, sipping champagne on the chase lounges while awaiting their pedicures, speculated on the positive correlation between Elliott�s hair length and his chart position!

Of course, it wouldn�t be Rehab without some Former Idol Contestants, now would it? Misfits gathered on the plush sofas in the General Music Forum to munch bon-bons and watch Constantine (AKA Stan) debut on the soap opera �The Bold and The Beautiful.� Laura Petrie, Murghi, Laclos, JR Labrador, and Laura Mae were driven to take up smoking again as the former �Idol Rocker� seduced the young Phoebe on the show. Ajviolet, Tdouglas Woomble, Laura Mae, eo, and Captured Castle resorted to mega doses of Prozac as the thespian skills of the one Mr. Maroulis drove them tears. Delia 88, Sleeper, Blue Vernon, mbr3173,leash four, simplex, and lilyann found themselves drinking entire pots of coffee as they discovered that both the storyline and Constantine�s limited skills were not enough to keep them awake. Unfortunately, the Misfits were so engrossed in Stan, they missed Mama McPhee�s debut on the Dr. Keith Ablow show.

Naturally, the Royals couldn�t resist in indulging in their favorite vice� American Idol. The American Idol 6 forum�s AI VI: The Aftermath thread, located in the casino by the swimming pools, was the place to toss the dice and speculate on what will become of our recent obsession: Jordin, Blake, Melinda, Lakisha, Phil, Crich, Sanjaya, Hailey, Gina, Sligh, Stephanie, and Brandon. Laying odds on the success or failure of the 12 finalists were Flylikeaneagle, Sleeper, Tdouglas, Ooshe and Craig. E-ternally, JRLabrador, eo, murghi, and lilyann played the one-armed bandit as they discussed the new iTunes release of the AI6 Favorite Hits CD. Dcjersey, Janizzle, and ynot agreed that Sanjaya needs to know when to fold �em, as they anted up for the poker tourney.

Of course, plenty of Misfits spent their rehab time indulging in their boob addiction. Boob tube, that is. Found receiving massive doses of radiation from sitting too closely to the color-TV sets in the lounge area were moon, Laclos, JR Lab, Laura Petrie, and Craig as they discussed everything from Heroes to the Sopranos. Needless to say, Royal Misfits will not be fading to black anytime soon.

Of interest to the movie buffs is a new thread entitled Movie Club located in the On Screen Forum. A crowd that included Incidior, Laclos, JR Lab, dcjersey, ooshe, Cebe, Laura Mae, and Murghi discussed the rules. Each week, a movie will be selected for group viewing. Watch the film, then return to the thread on a specified date to discuss. This weekend, pick up your copy of The Queen. Not only should this fulfill your movie viewing addiction, but it should also satisfy the Royal Watchers.

Well, my fellow recovering self-deniars, I must be off. I�m afraid it�s time for my therapy session with Dr. O.C. Davidson, author of the book, �Don�t Fear the Sweeper: Embracing Your Inner OCD.� Today, I get to thoroughly organize every closet in the place! Tata for now, lovies.

This just in: My sources have provided me with this disturbing "blind item." Apparently, two Misfits, formally extremely devoted fans of Blake and Melinda respectively were seen purchasing t-shirts for the upcoming Idols Tour. The Idol on their shirts? None other than Lakisha Jones! Though I'd be remiss if I gave away their names, I can give one tiny hint. They rhyme with Ruglet and TRugless Roomble.

CD Review - Idlewild

Mon, 11 Jun 2007 21:10:38 -0600

Make Another World. 10 tracks, plus 2 Amazon.com Exclusive Bonus Tracks. Sanctuary Records.

As most people who read this blog already know, Idlewild is my favorite band. Their latest album, the one I'm about to review, came out in early April, but I didn't actually get it until last week. Bad fan! But now that I have it, I wonder how I ever lived without it. Yes, it's that good.

Make Another World does what Idlewild fans have been waiting to happen for the past few years. That is, to marry their earlier post-punk fuzzy rock with their more recent laid-back, folksy style. And it does so beautifully. I don't just mean that the band merely alternates one type of song with another. I mean that they've actually managed to combine the two halves of their career into something completely different and beyond all expectations.

The cd starts out on an energetic note, with lead singer Roddy Woomble seemingly channeling Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day on the opener, "In Competition for the Worst Time". Then the pop-punk of the first two songs gives way to the funky beat of the second single, "No Emotion". It's probably the catchiest and most accessible track the band has ever recorded. But, don't think they've sold out or lost their ideals just because you can dance to the song. The lyrics are about the lack of soul and passion in our empty society, and are delivered in Roddy's usual rough and yearning voice.

Up next is "Make Another World" aka my new favorite song. It's like some lost U2 song, only less bombastic, more complex, and infinitely better. To put it simply, it soars. Did I just say the title track is my favorite song? Well, "Future Works" is a close second, and may eventually move up to number one. The more I listen to it, the more I love it. It's beautiful, dark, and deep, and at its heart is this perfect flaw, a trumpet solo that adds just the right amount of tension and dissonance. I never knew Idlewild was capable of something like this.

The quiet mood continues on with the hypnotic and dreamy opening to "You and I Are Both Away", only to be broken by a bracing blast of rawk. It's akin to standing on a sea cliff, enjoying the tranquil beauty of sky and water, and then getting slammed by a wave. But in a good way. And then there's "A Ghost in the Arcade". Holy shit. In my opinion, guitarist Rod Jones has never come up with a more amazing riff as the one that drives this song. And that's saying something, because he's come up with some pretty damn good riffs. It's the sort of thing that, when you hear it, it makes you want to go out and conquer something, anything. It's that great.

If I have one complaint about the album, it's a small one. Just one song. "If It Takes You Home". It's not a bad song, just a bit out of place and a little inferior to the rest. It doesn't help that it's smack dab in between the two best songs on the cd, "Make Another World" and "Future Works". It's kind of like making a sandwich with delicious home-baked bread, finely sliced roast beef, red ripe tomatoes, and balsamic vinaigrette . . . and then smearing peanut butter in the middle of it all. Nothing wrong with peanut butter, but it doesn't exactly complement the rest of the sandwich.

Anyway, the rest of the cd more than makes up for it. Like the closer, "Finished It Remains". It's a driving yet poignant rocker that fills this listener with hope. Maybe it's that Roddy's voice shines more than ever on the chorus, or maybe it's because it takes all of the best elements of the entire album and sums them up in one final statement. All I know is that I don't worry about the fate of the band anymore. They seem to be heading exactly where they set out to go.

You didn't think I'd forgotten about the bonus tracks, did you? Apparently, when you order from Amazon, you get two extra songs, "Hidden Ways" and "Lookin' for a Love". The former is a great guitar-driven number that sounds like it belongs on the band's 2002 release, The Remote Part. And the latter is a cover of a 1975 Neil Young song, which would have fit right in on their previous album, 2005's Warnings/Promises. I can see why they're bonuses. They don't really fit in with the rest of the cd, but they're nice to have.

So, I'm one relieved Idlewild fan. "If It Takes You Home" was the first single, and I was a little scared by it, to be honest. I wondered if the whole album was going to be some sort of conciliatory effort by the band to go back to their "roots". Although I loved Warnings/Promises, not everyone did. Whereas I was hoping they'd go more in that country-rock direction, a lot of people wished they'd go back to something more aggressive and punk. But there's no going back. Thankfully, the band knows that. And they also know that you can't please everyone. So, they did the smartest thing possible, and made an album for themselves, something completely different and unexpected, but still very "them". It's something they can be extremely proud of. I know I'm proud of them.

To order Make Another World, go here.

CD Review - Tracey Thorn

Wed, 6 Jun 2007 08:07:12 -0600

Out of the Woods. 11 tracks. Virgin/EMI.

Few singers can find the heart of a song like Tracey Thorn. For more than two decades as the voice of Everything but the Girl, The 44-year-old Brit ably navigated a maze of musical styles from gauzy jazz/pop to jangly neo-folk to angular electronica by zeroing in on the work�s aching core. Her emotional compass is aided by a husky, melancholic tone that sounds like the hitch one gets in the throat right before a long, liberating sob.

But though that compass is uncannily accurate, it�s not infallible, and on �Out of the Woods,� only Thorn�s second solo effort in 25 years, she loses her way. On indefinite leave from EBTG�co-founder and longtime paramour Ben Watt seems content to focus on DJ-ing at the moment�the singer has recruited a cadre of beat-masters from the British electronica underground, including producer Ewan Pearson, who has worked with Goldfrapp and Depeche Mode. The result is a synth-heavy album that blips and burbles along with little purpose or panache.
The CD, released earlier this spring, opens on a gentle note with �Here It Comes Again,� a sing-song-y lullaby about the elusiveness of happiness. It�s pretty in a generic way, but notice how Thorn�s trademark tone has been processed into a smooth, soulless whisper. It�s an unfortunate sign of more wrong-headedness to come.

Things quickly turn inexplicable on the next two tracks, �A-Z� and �It�s All True,� which sound like outtakes from the Bronski Beat and Howard Jones catalogs, respectively. One imagines Thorn being held captive by a rogue band of �80s obsessives, forced to croon along to antiquated synth-pop under threat of torture by prolonged exposure to Flock of Seagulls. Then along comes the autobiographical �Hands Up to the Ceiling�--Thorn wrote most of the lyrics on the album-- and it becomes clear she is complicit in this nostalgia trip.

Here we find the vocalist happening upon an old nightclub that figured prominently in her past, which once played host to �Terry Hall [The Specials, Fun Boy Three] and Siouxsie Sioux.� Back then, Thorn recalls, �everything I knew was good,� but now the thrill is gone. �I closed my eyes and something passed me by,� she moans. �I didn�t even try, and I don�t know why.�

OK, fine. We all went to transcendent club shows back in the day. But Thorn�s plaintive reminiscing would be more palatable if some of her heroes� verve was on display here, if, for instance, the song whooshed with the swirling fury of Siouxsie and the Banshees or skittered along on a Specials-like ska beat. As it is, the tune is a limp lament.

The news isn�t all bad. �Get Around to It� works a relatively current groove � at least this time Thorn only reaches back to 1994, and EBTG�s own Top 10 hit �Missing,� for inspiration. The best track is the album�s closer, �Raise the Roof,� which, despite its synthetic beats, manages to sound warm, ingratiating and modern.

But that�s the closer, and by the time it rolls around even longtime fans may be scratching their heads and pining for Watt's return. File this one away under �Unfortunate Misfire,� and cross your fingers that Thorn will find her way back to the path she�s traveled so surely for so many years.

Don't Wanna blah blah blah fat man cakes. Pt 2

Sun, 3 Jun 2007 09:55:43 -0600

Repetition is what makes the whole thing work. Going to the gym on the first day is tough, what with all the baggage of newness and shyness of being exposed as unworthy. Going back after a prolonged absence is hard also, since previous levels of competence are not sitting, waiting for you like a forgotten savings account. The first day is necessary, but it�s only the beginning: it�s the days after when the effect kicks in, the repetition of the routines over and over that make the process work. The repetition is part of what drives people away from the gym and exercise. Fortunately, there are benefits beyond the reclamation of the ability to put your shoes on without being out of breath; first a little bit about getting started.
You probably will get a tour of the facility when you join. Check out the machines that they have, and ask questions now when a sales person still cares who you are. Never worry about being bothered by these people; you will most likely never see or hear from them again once you sign up for the special 3 year package. Unless, you are a hottie. (This is a recurring theme.) Don�t feel bad about working the sales staff either. The percentage of people that buy memberships and don�t come more than five more times in their lives is astronomical. They love the no-shows! Less wear and tear on the facilities, less parking, less crowds for the members that do come. They bank the membership dues and go back to sleep. So ask them, and ask them often, about anything.

Apart from the facilities, there are probably classes that they will want to sell you. You are on your own there, because I am scared to death of being put through my paces by a wild eyed true believer with 2% body fat. I do see the classes going on, behind a glass wall. The students are wildly flailing to, I�m sure, up tempo music. All I can hear is the beat through the walls. Aerobics. Useful and healthy. Like broccoli.

Get some fitness magazines on line or hard copy. Get a couple of different takes on beginners stuff. This prevents you from getting a hold of really bizarre tips since you will have a reference point. Warm up by stretching, or not? Cardio first, or last? Fat burning at low intensity, or mixing high and low intensity in the same exercises, like simulated hill and valley work outs? Machines or free weights? There are lots of ways to skin your fat, so look around and try some until you find what you like. Set a routine of exercising habits, like how much and when to eat pre workout, what days or times you like (good for you if you can escape the crowds). Settle into your routines and get healthy!

Now, as I said routines can get to be ruts, so thank goodness there are mobiko everywhere at the gym. The people are amazing. I don�t watch people who struggle for sport; that�s too assy, even for someone with the personality issues that I have. Some of the people who think they are doing just fine, are fair game however. Over the last week I have seen some rich examples of Fit-nass-hattery.

The other day, a real meaty guy was doing an exercise called a dead lift. The exercise consists of bending over at the waist and grabbing a bar that�s on the floor with a palms-down grip. The bar weighs 45 lbs, with no weights on the end, and is about five feet in length. The idea is to lift the bar without bending the knees, putting the stress on butt and back muscles. It�s an advanced kind of exercise, which this guy was definitely ready for. He had placed 6 weight disks on each end of the bar. These weigh 45 lbs each, so this was�.a lot of weight, around 580 lbs. Good for him. However, he had brought an audience- a young, very slim girl. She stood facing him, and watched while he exhorted himself with loud words of encouragement such as �Come on man, you can do it! Let�s go! Let�s do this!� while his cheerleader led no cheers, nor said a word. When he picked up the weight, the bar looked like it was made of rubber. He would give a loud shout-grunt, and then slam the weights down after lifting. No comment or reaction from her. She was there as a bodyguard perhaps.

The opposite effect can be found however. A boyfriend and girlfriend working out together; he plugging into his exercises, she doing absolutely nothing until he�s finished then pretending that she is finishing her set as well. I caught her eye doing this, and she grinned and held her finger to her lips. Like I would rat her out!

Fashion is wild at the gym. Tramp stamps abound. Waistbands are rolled over and down as low as possible. Why? Does this offer less wind resistance? I need to know though: if you get a tattoo on your lower back, and you buy pants and shorts that have things written on them (Pink seems to be a statement or brand or something) why do you tie a jacket or towel around your waist while you�re working out? I thought you wanted people looking at your back side?

It�s been brought to my attention that I forgot to mention sweatbands in Pt 1. I always wear multiples of each headbands and wrist bands, as my own personal flair. At the end of the workout, I throw them to random people as I leave the gym. And then get out of there, fast.

Now, step away from the �puter, and get out there. I�ll save you a treadmill.

"A Pure Drop in an Ocean of Noise"

Mon, 28 May 2007 12:41:10 -0600

Jeff Buckley
November 17, 1966 - May 29, 1997
When he came out everyone was a little afraid to commit. They kind of used irony as a sheet around them, kind of protecting them from having to own up to what they said. Not only did he have one of the best voices I have ever heard, he was one hundred percent committed to what he was doing. He was unabashedly romantic in his lyrics and the way he sang.
~ Brandon Boyd

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His voice is an incredible instrument, angelic and powerful and mean at the same time.
~ Jonny Lang

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Grace was a great beginning, staking out all the stylistic territory. I think he was getting ready to make his first real record, working out what he wanted to say without letting that wonderful voice distract people from his internal emotion. I'm sure he wanted to be more than just a pretty face and voice.
~ Lenny Kaye

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We were really good friends, and as an individual he was different from any other friend I've had. I was looking forward to a long friendship with him. As an artist he was one of the few people that really inspired me. I was counting on him to be one of the persons who would pressure me to move my limits in many years to come.
~ Chris Cornell

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Technically, he was the best singer that had appeared probably in - I'm not being too liberal about this - if I say, in two decades.
~ Jimmy Page

Yes, he had a fantastic voice and he was very sexy, but he was a fantastic guitar player as well, which no one ever mentions. He used a lot of open tuning and jazz and blues, things people still don't bother exploring. He wasn't concerned about 4/4 rock/pop geared at the charts. After an hour and a half I was totally in love with him.
~ Bernard Butler

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Jeff Buckley. It wailed me. I was, like, walking around in tears, just so grateful that I discovered this record.
~ Steve Vai

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Jeff is one of my favorite musicians and singers of all time. Never have I seen such infinite musical potential in anyone.
~ Ben Harper

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I asked him what he wanted to sing and he said he'd like to do one of Mahler's Kindertotenlieder in the original German! Absolutely fucking fearless. He was convinced he could sing it without rehearsal, just because he liked it. In the end he did a Purcell song, 'Dido's Lament', which is in danger of sounding incredibly poignant in retrospect: "Remember me but forget my fate". But he also sang 'Boy With the Thorn In His Side' because he liked it, and 'Grace' to show something of himself.

When he started singing "Dido's Lament" at the rehearsal, there were all these classical musicians who could not believe it. Here's a guy shuffling up onstage and singing a piece of music normally thought to be the property of certain types of specifically developed voice, and he's just singing, not doing it like a party piece, but doing something with it.
~ Elvis Costello

Jeff Buckley was a pure drop in an ocean of noise.
~ Bono
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(When asked how he would like to be remembered):
As a good friend. I don't really need to be remembered - I hope the music's remembered.
~ Jeff Buckley

Wikiquote
MojoPin.org
imdb.com

1. Sproul Plaza, UC Berkeley, May 5, 1995; 16:29
2. Various; 7:35
3. Meltdown Festival, London, July 1, 1995; 5:53
4. Unknown; 4:55
5. On Air Azabu Studios, Japan, 1995; 8:28

Don't Wanna Be a Fat Man

Sun, 27 May 2007 10:47:41 -0600

I recently had the misfortune (good fortune?) of seeing some pictures of myself. Now, I�m not disfigured or bald, though maternal genes tell me that I have the baldness to look forward to also, but I have packed on a good-sized 10 year old to carry around with me. How? No spectacular eating of fatty (delicious) foods. I haven�t had many steaks, no lobster, no pate, not much beer or liquor, not much cake and ice cream�so how? It must be I.R.I.(Internets Related Inactivity). A friend of mine has called his incipient jowls a �neckfurter�. If this is so, I have a �neck loin� going, like a trapdoor opened under my chin and let out its airbag. This must end. I have to seek out the sweat.
So, how? Walking, biking, or running where I live, in the sub-tropics, is out. I have a gym membership, so that�s probably my best option. Let me say that my slide into the world of elastic waistbands, and guayaberra shirts (never tucked in) was preceded by any number of reclamation projects. I have belonged to a gym for 10 plus years, and most of that 10 years, I utilized their services. This last year or so has been my undoing, so I have to recreate good habits and ruts�er I mean routines
First, what clothes can I wear? I have sneakers and I can probably borrow some of my socks back from my teenage son. Shorts? Fortunately, baggy has been in style for awhile, so I can limit the exposure of my �fishbelly white� legs. Now, for the tough part-a shirt. I have a great collection of t-shirts from over the years. Unfortunately, getting the shirt to fit over my stomach is key. Raising your arms over your head happens at the gym, so to avoid the dual risk of blubber and/or butt cleavage exposure, the shirt has to reach over the belly and stay put. I�m good with XXL, but in combination with the baggy shorts, I looked like a grizzled hip hop wannabe, a guy whose luggage has been lost, or a gangster waiting at Jimmy�s for Mr. Wolf to arrive with the solution.
Now, for gym �virgins�, if you�ve never gone, and need to, but are worried about the exposure of your lameness to the world: stop worrying! No one is looking at you! These places are usually 360 degrees of mirrors, for two reasons. First, so that people can check themselves out, frankly and honestly. This is the prime objective of most of the folks packing the gym and its equipment. �Me!� How do I look doing this? Or that? Second, people are checking out the hotness of members of the opposite sex, either through frank and direct appraisal, or via the stealth method of looking at the mirrored-images. Given the number of mirrors, its possible to be extremely sneaky about this. Caution: eye contact can still be made after multiple refractions. Don�t stare if you don�t want stare -back. So, if you are worried that your current condition will draw attention, don�t . Remember, people are looking at themselves, and hot people, not looking for people to deride.
That said, if you are wearing something really horrifying, or you fall off a piece of equipment, or you make loud exertion noises, people will look at you. Briefly, and then go back to their prime objectives. One other disclaimer; the freelance trainers that are in a lot of gyms will look at you, and the more out of shape you are, the more likely they will sidle up to you, offering their services. This could mean a few things: you are hot or you look like you really need help. You choose. I have never had the kind of money to pay these folks $50-$100 an hour, but if you need help establishing a routine, they can be helpful.

to be continued ...

The Cooler Buzz: I Read the Forums So You Can Keep Up!

Fri, 18 May 2007 21:33:16 -0600

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My dears! Are you wearing black? Protocol demands it! After all, it is the Royal Misfits� First Annual Week of Mourning to Remember the Night the Music Died: Season Five Final Three Results Show. (Heretofore to be known as FAWOMTRTNTMD:SFFTRS.) Of course, being Misfits, the FAWOMTRTNTMD:SFFTRS was immediately turned into a party of sorts as it was revealed that the source of our sorrow, Elliott Yamin, is alive and well, and kicking his way up the music charts. Nevertheless, ceremony dictates that one pay respectful tribute to his untimely exit on Final Three Night by flying our avis at half-mast and replaying Elliott�s Season Five performances ad nauseam on YouTube in memoriam.

As is proper, Misfits began the week by paying their respects in the Walk Down Memory Lane thread in the General Music forum. A parade of staid Royals was led by Laclos, Incidior, and Kelliott as clips and pictures from last season�s Final 3 were pulled from the Sorrow Thread. Soon, Lilefan, Delia88, Murghi, and LLParker arrived to pay tribute wearing pillbox hats trimmed with veils. The place filled quickly with welcome visits from Cabarethed, Progressive, trudi, Elizabeth, and Ingo685. It soon turned into a reunion with the entrance of Jabu (who brought along baby Elliott), Rimbaud, and Bluebomb. A welcome was sent out to Sleeper who arrived bearing carnations and memories. JR Labrador raised his glass in a toast and reminded us all of what made last season so special by reciting Elliott�s final words: �I was so lost for so long.�

Oddly enough, as the tears flowed freely in the Memory Lane thread, drinks were flowly with equal abandon in the Elliott Yamin Part 5 thread down the hall. After all, there was much to be excited about. The usual suspects, Alab, Poorme, LLParker, lily Anne and Zapped gathered in one corner to check out the latest Elliott media. They were soon joined by Kelliott, CookieMomster, BlueVernon, Elizabeth, and Murghi who had a great deal to say about the status of Elliott�s hair. Cozying up to the bar to discuss with anticipation Elliott�s upcoming performance on this season�s Final Three Night were elliottstar (who winked at everyone from her avi), wefi, Cebe, Alliep (who confirmed that Elliott would indeed appear on the program), The crowd grew even more roudy as Wednesday night�s performance approached. The place was packed with the arrival of Tdouglas Woomble, LaurieMae, Mister Phibbs, lintang, jabu, Bluebomb and Ooshe. The party continued well into Thursday night with the welcome addition of Moon, Rinda, Sandym, edge907, cdd81, and ajviolet. All expressed pride in our boy for an incredible performance on American Idol. Making a happy return were musicmovesme, snowbird, daif, mj047, and jag. Bossmama popped in to point out the resemblance between our E and The Boss, Bruce Springsteen. If you haven�t joined the party, yet, you simply must! It is still in full swing and is expected to remain so as Elliott�s concert dates continue.

Not to be outdone, the American Idol 6 forum was equally rowdy, despite the somber memories from one year ago. Shnugs and Captured Castle held a beer-chugging competition to prove who was best: Melinda or Blake. Meanwhile, dcjersey, Murghi, Jen250, and Laura Petrie cozied up to the bar to discuss song choices and performance order. Blake fans Tdoug and lilyanne toasted their boy with champagne while Blue Vernon, MisterPhibbs, Flylikeandeagle, and cabarethed discussed Jordin�s chances over cocktails. By performance night, as canap�s were passed around, the crowd was more subdued as Rimbaud, dcjersey, Ooshe, Delia88, and Elizabeth critiqued the show. Sleeper, minneyfan, puppy pundit and JR Labrador were all on hand for the results show, when the crowd let out a spontaneous moan as Melinda shared Elliott�s fate of going out in third place. But, the crowd couldn�t be kept down for long as the party continued with the arrival of Progressive, Laclos, Zapped, and wefi. As usual, conversation veered off course as the discussion went from the future of the Final 3 to Phil Spector�s hair.

Of course, some revelers were not content to wait until next week for the American Idol finale, so began the party in that thread as early as Thursday noon! Laura Petrie, Laclos, Kelliott, and Flylikeaneagle were downing shots in anticipation of the highly touted sing-off between one Blake Lewis and Jordin Sparks. Wefi, Caberethed, JR Labrador, Captured Castle, and Tdouglas Woomble all had their say with regards to the final two photo. Blake on a box or Jordin in a hole? Your choice. Murghi, lily Anne, ynot, minneyfan, and Delia88 critiqued young Sparks dress while Alab, and Elizabeth only had eyes for Blake�s�.shirt. One unfortunate incident did occur which nearly led to a brawl. Shnugs and Zapped found the nickname �Mindy-Mates� not to their liking. Fortunately, the author of said name, being the refined sort, merely placed one gloved hand on each of their shoulders and murmured, �How amusing for you.� Then, she ordered a champagne all around as a group made a game of attempting better names than the darling, perfectly executed �Mindy-Mates.� What a delightful person the author of the offended name must be! dcjersey joined along as well as Cebe and Ooshe, and the party continues as we speak!

Meanwhile, in the Onscreen Forum, at the Project Runway thread, the likes of Laura Petrie, JR Labrador, Ooshe, wefi, Blue Vernon, Zapped, and Cebe were caught lunching. Overheard? Praises sung for Fabulon: . Meanwhile, down the road in The Office thread, eo, AJViolet, lilefan, and LaurieMae discussed over wine spritzers the significance of Jan�s recent enhancements.

Of course, the only true way to round out FAWOMTRTNTMD:SFFTRS is to acquaint oneself with the true meaning of life, Art and Literature. A visit to the forum will catch one up to date on this year�s Tony nominees in the Theater thread, thanks to Caberethed. Meanwhile, Incidior, Kelliott and wefi display their wares in the Visual Arts thread.

Obviously, FAWOMTRTNTMD:SFFTRS was a huge success. Next year, more festivities of mourning will be planned for SAWOMTRTNTMD:SFFTRS. Meanwhile, the period of wearing black is officially over. It is time to be fitted for ball gowns and tuxedos as next week, the Misfits attend the American Idol finale! Will we be treated to the likes of Prince as a surprise guest? Or, perhaps, the resurrected corpse of Elvis? Either way, a good time will be had by all! Goodbye my doveys. In the words of two foolish boys who reside in their parents� basement, �Party on!�